


Reshape The Wrong

by GalekhXigisi



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Canonical Character Death, Menstruation, Puberty, References to Drugs, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Trans Diego Hargreeves, Trans Klaus Hargreeves, Twin Vanya and Klaus Hargreeves, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:26:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: I forgot the Homestuck epilogue was actually coming out today and I have yet to actually read it but from my understanding, its "meat or candy" memes, rape is discussed, John is suicidal/disassociated, and Rose is pregnant. She also calls John a bitch because she is "unwell." John mentions that Rose looks like Dave after they met for the first time and "Karkat softened him up" or something. I'm horrified. I'm already ready to sob. My nose burns and my eyes are watery. I'm absolutely terrified.





	1. Chapter 1

It was surprising, forty-three children all born speratically with no warning whatsoever. They were all adorned with beautiful wings. That wasn’t the odd part, no,  _ everyone _ had wings. It wasn’t anything special about that. What  _ was _ special was the fact that they all sported three pairs of wings. They mostly sprouted from shoulderblades. Some were a beautiful array of colors, others were plain and boring. It all depended on who had the best luck between each of them. 

 

Out of the forty-three, Reginald Hargreeves seemed to get his hands on only seven of them. His tactics were far from orthodox, but he got them nonetheless. He paid the women into silence, smiling happily as he displayed them. The news rang of the old crows’ sudden interest in the seven, keeping their lives under wraps. 

 

-

 

_ [00.01] Born 1:22 AM _

 

_ Beautiful wings, a golden color of no bird I’ve ever seen before. They are small, but nonetheless sturdy. I suspect 1 will be doing much better off than the others. The nannies say 1 is one of the easiest to tame and get to sleep.  _

 

_ Perhaps a golden-winged warbler _

 

_ [00.02] Born 1:23 AM _

 

_ Similar to 1, 2 is easy to put to rest. However, 2’s wings are of a bit larger than average size. Simple black and brown, darker than I suspected, more like a falcon. Down feathers come off quickly. 2 seems to be growing fast.  _

 

_ Falcon, unsure of which species yet _

 

_ [00.03] Born 7:33 AM _

 

_ Excellent and colorful as can be. They seem to change colors when 3 cries. Today, they were a beautiful purple. _

 

_ Unsure _

 

_ [00.04] Born 11:58 PM _

 

_ Nannies say 4 is the fussiest. I have had to begin sedating 4 in order for them to sleep. Their wings are incredibly large, just as their twin is. They’re losing their color as they grow.  _

 

_ Unsure _

 

_ [00.05] Born 3:17 PM _

 

_ 5 has hawk-like wings. They’re not as large as either of the twins, but they seem to be bigger than 1’s.  _

 

_ Possibly a red-tailed hawk _

 

_ [00.06] Born 11:12 AM _

 

_ Large, dark blue wings. 6 seems to be inseparable with 4, despite the two only being two months old. Calm as can be, incredibly easy to put to sleep and keep that way. 6’s stomach seems to be upset constantly, though. Nannies have many issues with getting 6 to keep down food.  _

 

_ Similar to a blue raven instead of purple, Unsure _

 

_ [00.07] Born 3:49 PM _

 

_ Easy to sleep, but seems to have an incredibly active brain during sleep. Unlike their twin [00.04], their wings seem to darken as the days pass. Nannies say 7 eats well for the most part but does have a sort of attitude to them. They prefer to be with 4 and cries overwise. 7 tires their self out fast enough that it isn’t an issue, though.  _

 

_ Unsure _


	2. Chapter 2

The children are four now, and Reginald wants to find out their powers here and now. The water in the tank is hot, incredibly so. It would leave blisters is someone was in for too long. No matter how scared they got, they were not to use their wings, no matter what happened. Sir Hargreeves had been sure to make that little rule as clear as he possibly could. 

 

One is the first to go. The nanny,  _ Alisse, _ simply tosses him in. She’s youthful as can be with her soft features and gentle voice. She didn’t fit in at all. Her hands fold over her skirt as she watches him sputter, slipping to the bottom of the tank. She, does, however, flinch when his fist rams into the glass, cracking it. It had yet to shatter, but it did make spiderweb-like cracks. Reginald scrawls something on his notepad and then gives Alisse the okay to throw down the line to him. None of them could swim. 

 

Two was next. He didn’t seem to respond at first, simply floating to the bottom with his cheeks puffed. Minutes pass by before Sir Hargreeves writes something else. There’s a pause as Two is pulled up and their father insists on turning the water to a higher temperature, one that will slowly heat up they go on. Alisse doesn’t question it in the least. 

 

The water still isn’t that hot when Three is thrown in. It’s no hotter than the steaming showers she takes in the mornings, no matter how much everyone insists she leaves hot water for them. It didn’t matter how many bathrooms they had. After an hour and a half long shower, there was mostly cold water left. No one knew what she did for so long, nor did they plan on asking. She forces herself to swim, ignoring the way the water gets hotter and hotter on her. Reginald eventually lets out a sigh and lets Alisse pull her up before she slips under for a third time. Four wraps a towel around her, his own wings wrapping around for extra support. Three hugs him, frowning. She knows he’s next. He knows it, too. 

 

Four jumps in himself. The water  _ burns, _ but he ignores it, slowly opening his eyes. The water wasn’t clear like it had been when he jumped in. It was a dark, murky blue. Bodies seemed to fill the water, hands reaching for him. He uses his wings to pull away from them. For the time being, the burns aren’t his main focus. His main focus is whatever he just ran into, or more accurately, _ whoever. _ He turns sharply. He’s suddenly face-to-face with someone. Well,  _ face to face _ doesn’t work when that man  _ doesn’t have a fucking face. _ He screams so loud that it hurts his throat. However, his hands instantly go to his throat as he realizes that he had no air left to be held in his body. The next scream seems to make the glass around him crack as he focuses on the dead screaming his name. Are they dead? Klaus doesn’t actually know, but he uses his wings to wrap around himself as he panics. THeir voices are getting louder and  _ louder. _ The tank cracks more and more until he’s suddenly getting pulled out my Alisse, who frowns at the hot water. Both of them have burns now. 

 

Six sits beside him, attempting to help him breathe. Two joins as they attempt to help the other breathe as best they can. Six counts him through the panic attack as well as vomiting up the water while Two makes a soft beat out of the counting. It slowly relaxes Four. It takes a few minutes for him to right himself. Thankfully, Hargreeves turns down the water temperature. 

 

Five is next. However, he doesn’t even touch the water before a wave of blue consumes him. When they look around, they find Five standing behind Hargreeves, eyes blown wide as he stares at his hands. He looks up at their father, who scribbles something down and congratulates him for it. It’s… Better. 

 

_ I’m scared, _ the echo whispers through Four’s mind. It mysteriously sounds like Seven. He turns towards her, his brows raised.  _ I don’t want to go in, don’t want to, don’t want, don’t- _

 

_ Breathe, _ Four thinks back, watching Seven’s eyes blow wide as she jerks her head around the room. Her eyes eventually land on Four. They’re just as blown as Fours' are.  _ Don’t mention this to Dad. _ Seven nods in understanding.  _ Breathe, slow, like Six always says. Breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. It’s hard but good. _ Four has no idea where Six learned that, but he does count out the beat while Seven counts in her head. They stay silent underneath the watchful eye of Sir Reginald Hargreeves. 

 

The adult turns when Six’s turn is announced. Four’s stomach swells with worry. He would vomit, but he’d already vomited every single content held in his pit of a stomach already. It hadn’t been much, but still enough to make him feel crappy. Seven goes into counting for him, tapping it out patiently. 

 

Six doesn’t touch the water, either, which was now rather cold and was probably more likely to give someone hypothermia than anything. Tentacles reach out of his stomach, planting their selves on the rim of the tank and literally  _ throwing _ Six into Four, who yelps loudly in pain. Six pushes away from Four in preference of puking away from him than on him. The tentacles slowly recede, clicking and moaning. They’re a gentle white, blue frosting the suckers and bumps of it. 

 

Four coaxes Seven through her trial. However, the instant the cold water touches her skin, she lets out a yelp. With that yelp, the entire tank shatters. The room falls silent as it floods. Pogo and Alisse both let out a sigh. The chimp moves to tend to Four and his burns, moving the others with them to get out of the room. Reginald lets them go, eyes scanning the backs of their heads as he watches them. 


	3. Chapter 3

_ [00.01] _

 

_ 1 has little to no activity in their sleep. At most, there is tossing and turning. Their wings seem to be growing just as healthy as anyone else’s. Their strength is immeasurable to an average human's. I have never seen a human lift an entire couch at only the age of four and a half with little to no effort whatsoever.  _

 

_ They seem to be similar to a yellow canary, macaw, or discolored cockatoo. Only time can tell, though.  _

 

_ [00.02]  _

 

_ 2 has problematic sleeping habits, as is exhibited through the twins as well. They seem to be growing incredibly strong. As well as being able to breathe underwater/hold their breath for an indefinite about of time, they have the power to maneuver any object by their own will. This makes for the perfect marksmanship and potentially an amazing party trick.  _

 

_ They are, definitely, a falcon.  _

 

_ [00.03] _

 

_ We have just found 3’s powers are a form of mind control. Saying “I heard a rumor” or “Simon says” initiates said control. I believe we will perhaps have to use it on Number 7 if their behavior continues.  _

 

_ Without a doubt some form of parrot/macaw. Their feathers and hair seem to change color at will, though. The patterns are beautiful.  _

 

_ [00.04]  _

 

_ Very little sleep whatsoever. I fear they will die once more. Exhaustion will be the cause instead of simply being stillborn. We have yet find out their power, though I fear it will be just like 7’s. If so, I will not hesitate to subdue them both. They seem to be incredibly close since we did the tank test. They’re close to 2 and 6 as well and seem to be forcing their way onto 3 and 5. I fear that their horrid habits/personality will spread to the others.  _

_ 4 has many behavioral issues and has the attention span of a gnat. I have attempted medication but it doesn’t work. They zone out far more than the other children and their nannies all say 4 is the worst at eating. 3 has had to use their powers on 4 multiple times already. Almost every meal is the same cycle.  _

_ They seem distant. Losing focus, separating their self from the others despite being the friendliest and attempting to befriend them all as quickly as is possible, and spending most of their time either out of the house or in the room. Despite the distance, I have no fear it will even out as 4 grows into who they want to be.  _

 

_ They seem to hide their wings. Wings seem to be a polar opposite of 7’s. It seems like a dove’s wing, but it’s far too large, even for an albatross. On the left main wing, there is a black dot that shows through all of the feathers. 7’s is a polar opposite to that, wings dark with a white dot in their bottom right wing. 4’s wings are either always ruffled or fluffed out in a protective stance like a scared cat. 7 does the same occasionally. Their tail is pure white, though.  _

 

_ [00.05]  _

 

_ Not much to report. Their attitude has been showing. They seem to be as stubborn as a mule and using their powers to their advantage constantly. I fear they will start attempting a pursuit at time travel. While it  _ is _ a long shot, it is still possible.  _

 

_ Definitely a red-tailed hawk.  _

 

_ [00.06]  _

 

_ They seem to be getting angrier. They are weak and easily manipulated. Even 7 has taken account for that fact. 2 and 4 protect 6 as much as they can, even if 4 is not very good at anything other than being a pain in my side. They are slowly getting control of  _ The Horror, _ but it is  _ _ incredibly _ _ slow. I’m not sure how to help them train.  _

 

_ A mix between a raven or vulture. Now a crow, like I, but definitely taking after a shiny version of a vulture.  _

 

_ [00.07]  _

 

_ Lots of nightly activity, but generally fine. They sleep much more than 4 and their health is impeccable. Their health is far better than 4's.  _

 

_ See [00.04] for wing detail. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot the Homestuck epilogue was actually coming out today and I have yet to actually read it but from my understanding, its "meat or candy" memes, rape is discussed, John is suicidal/disassociated, and Rose is pregnant. She also calls John a bitch because she is "unwell." John mentions that Rose looks like Dave after they met for the first time and "Karkat softened him up" or something. I'm horrified. I'm already ready to sob. My nose burns and my eyes are watery. I'm absolutely terrified.


	4. Chapter 4

Four has no idea when things turn sour in his life. Maybe it was when he was born and the women at the pool had announced he wasn’t breathing. Or maybe it was the announcement that rang through the halls of  _ It’s a girl _ as soon as he had started to breathe. Maybe that’s why he could see ghosts and would otherwise be powerless? He wasn’t sure, though, as he could telepathically speak with Seven just fine. She seemed to prefer speaking to him over the others. He found a soft spot for her. 

 

Sir Reginald was far from liking how friendly he was getting with the others. They were his siblings, what else would he do? Was he supposed to ignore them and cut them off? He absolutely refused to cut them all off. He couldn’t cut Vanya off, after all, as her mind was literally attached to his. He’s confused when his father suddenly pulls him aside, gripping tightly at his arm after breakfast. They were still attempting to find out his powers, so it wasn’t exactly  _ that _ confusing, but the tight grip hurt and made him whimper, attempting to pull away. 

 

“Now, Number Four, you’re going to start individual training. It is not to be discussed with the others or there will be severe consequences, understood?” Four frowns but nods frantically. Why were the others allowed to discuss their training but he wasn’t? Seven often discussed hers with him, even mounting off confusion more often than not. 

 

They walk through the home to an elevator Four had never actually seen before. He’s practically thrown inside of the elevator. He moves to stand in the corner of the tiny room, watching his father move to press the buttons. He put in a specific set, watching with a frown as it let off a soft ding. Silence stood as they moved through the floors. Eventually, though, the ghosts came to play, letting out their loud screams, calling his name loudly and screaming, demanding he fit their call. He wants to scream in reply, tell them to go away, but one was getting awfully close and he was frozen. It continued until Reginald calls his name and jerks him forward, though the ghost that was taunting him. 

 

“Now, you will stay in this chamber for long periods of time until we find out what your powers are. Perhaps isolation is the key.” The oldest moves to push Four in, shutting the door instantly. It locks and Four lets out a whimper. There’s a collection of ghosts already there, jerking their attention towards him the instant they see him there. Some smirk. “Until we find out, you will be spending hours at a time alone here, just as your sister is going to start doing.” 

 

_ Sister? _ Four frowns. Had it been Three or Seven? With the padding around the room that would knowingly block much noise, both of them were options. Seven had said her powers were focused purely on noises and articulating with them. And Three’s voice completely surrounded her powers, too. There were a lot of possibilities. That doesn’t help calm his nerves as he moves to avoid the ghosts. Reginald was already moving away from the chamber, leaving Four to tend to himself, to fend off the ghosts by his little lonesome. 

 

Still, after training so much for so long, he doesn’t spill the beans on his powers. He does get a bit more distant from the others, quick to spew a joke and play as the funny, random sibling. It isn’t that clear how horrid he’s doing, yet he still seems to look as if he’s doing just fine. The distance is something that Reginald, with his keen eye, picks up almost immediately, tossing a few scribbled notes onto the paper, marking up results as to how their  _ “training” _ was going. 

 

After a rather harsh fall down the stairs that resulted in a broken arm, Four was on multiple different medications, all drugged up as could be. Morphine invaded his mind, made him slower and far more unpredictable. He sits with Six on the couch, leaning against him with his broken arm propped up, casted in a cast properly. Seven sits on his other side, running her hands through his hair slowly. It’s still long, not yet cut. Wild curls invade their space as Four drapes himself over the others, tired as can be, eyes half-lidded. Two sits on the floor with a smile, watching as the television plays. 

 

“Hey, did you guys know that most laughs were recorded about thirty or forty years ago, so you’re listening to dead people laugh.” He smirks up at Four, watching his expression stayed a lullingly calm as it was. Two’s hair was still too long than he wanted it to be. 

 

Four let out a calm, dry laugh that sounded more like it was coming from Hanz in Frozen  _ [though none of them actually knew what Frozen was, yet], _ smiling as his brother. “Oh, Two, I already hear dead people laughing.” 

 

His words settle over them. Within a few moments, Two looks as if he’s close to tears as he asks, “Hey, hey, Four, what the  _ fuck _ does that even  _ mean?” _

 

The world of that got to Reginald instantly. So began Four’s  _ actual _ individual training. He has to sit through hours upon hours of seeing dead body after dead body. He isn’t sure when it starts, but he begins to lose connect with Seven afterward, making all their talk seem like nothing more than a harsh, long-lasting fever dream. He has to frown and take in a few breaths, especially after Three’s  _ I heard a rumor everyone thought Seven was normal. _ He had to admit, it was a lot all at the same time. He doesn’t really remember that rumor much. 

 

It was day in and day out of looking at autopsies and missing cases, attempt9ng to find out if he could get any results from it, scouring through ghosts to see if he could find any results, help put a few to rest, as well as their families. The screaming never once stopped. Not even as he confirmed that “yes, she’s dead and she has been that way for a few years now. She was murdered by the guy down the street. It’s like the entire Telltale heart Edgar Allen Poe shit that you make us read, Dad.” No matter how much everything ached, he always made sure to be as snappy with his father as he could. It was petty of him, yes, but it helped him cope. Not healthily cope, no, but it got him through the nights he wasn’t able to sleep in Two or Six’s rooms and his own was pitch black and the ghosts kept him awake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching Glee and stuff lately. Like, listening to its music and the clips you find on YouTube. I watched all of it when it first came out with my mom, but I was young and I don't remember much, honestly.


	5. Chapter 5

_ [00.01]  _

 

_ Strong, a somewhat faithful leader. Two and Four prefer not to listen to them. Six easily follows after some persuasion.  _

 

_ [00.02] _

 

_ Now insists they are male. I have agreed to his terms. His aim is as immaculate as ever.  _

 

_ His wings are all a bit large on his body and he occasionally has issues with them, but he is absolutely amazing with his dives and so on. He will be an immaculate hunter.  _

 

_ [00.03]  _

 

_ Similar to a peacock, as it seems, incredibly showy. She holds herself to high standards and is obviously meant for fame. She will be incredible to show off once they make their debut.  _

 

_ Again, similar to a peacock. Her tail is an impressive white and changes colors as well. It’s amazing to watch her change. She sheds much less than the others do, which is odd.  _

 

_ [00.04]  _

 

_ Still cocky and has begun to be an absolute prick most of the time. They respond slower and often with wide eyes, confused and dilated. I believe they have started taking drugs. Pogo has his own speculations and suspicions of such.  _

 

_ Wings are still youthful as ever but somehow manages to constantly be injured. Many injuries seem to appear suddenly. _

 

_ [00.05]  _

 

_ As snappy as Four is being, if not worse. Always has some sort of remark about training. Growing into wings well.  _

 

_ [00.06]  _

 

_ Seems to be getting angry. I’m not exactly sure why. The Horror is more upset, though Six has amazing control over them. Healthier than Four is.  _

 

_ [00.07]  _

 

_ Responds well to medication. Feathers have stopped darkening but I suspect that is because of the medication.  _

  
  
  


_ Nothing to report. All seem to be growing well.  _


	6. Chapter 6

They have official names now aside from Five. He had absolutely refused to take on a different name other than  _ Five. _ Klaus and Diego both have hair that mirrors Ben, Five, and Luther’s hairstyles. Unfortunately for Klaus, his hair is still as wild as can be, angry and uncontrollable. He straightens it every morning, making it even more similar to everyone else’s styles. He doesn’t exactly have any objections to it, it’s just an annoying extra step every morning. 

 

But now Klaus thinks he’s dying. Unfortunately for him, their father never actually seemed to have any care for their true futures, just focusing on the world. That meant never actually giving them any insight to puberty or what was going to happen in their futures. Bodily changes had never once been discussed in the house which is why Klaus believes he is dying at only the age of ten years and two days. 

 

He clears his sheets and puts them in the laundry for their mother to do. He would talk to her, but she’s still charging and he didn’t want to interrupt that. He moves through the home in a trained silence he had picked up within his few years of sneaking out. Klaus is sober, which means the ghosts are yelping his name as he goes. He ignores them, though. Four showers and cleans himself up as if he weren’t in pain and hadn’t woke up with blood all over himself as well as the bed. Getting dressed is weird, though, because the blood doesn’t actually  _ stop. _ He just wads up a few bunches of toilet paper and heaves out a sigh, making his way to Ben’s room. The other would let him lay with him, he knew that much. 

 

He knocks on the door. There’s a giggle from the other side and a hushed,  _ “No, no, dude, put it out,” _ before someone comes stomping through, opening the door happily. A smiling Diego stares back at him. Klaus is instantly greeted with the stench of cigarette smoke, though he waves it off. 

 

“Smoking without me? Mi Hermano, I’m  _ offended.” _ He holds a hand to his heart, feigning offense as best he can, though it’s interrupted by a cramp that makes him flinch. A tentacle from the other side of the room wraps around Klaus’ wrist and pulls him in. Ben smiles widely as the  _ Bentacle [Klaus had given The Horror that nickname] _ recedes. 

 

“Oh, dear brother, what can I do for you,” Ben speaks in an over the top theatrics voice that Klaus had taught him. 

 

Diego snorts, shutting the door behind him. He moves to plop on the bed beside Ben, wings somewhat outstretched in a calm position, not ruffled like Klaus’ were, though the others couldn’t tell as they pressed tightly to his back, undetected for the moment. They had become more often tucked away than not as of late. Klaus is a bit hesitant to sit. In fact, he ends up going off the idea completely. There’s only one cigarette between Ben and Diego now. As soon as he refuses a hit, there’s a clear change in everyone’s moods, one of a sported concern. 

 

“I think I’m dying,” he says. It spurs a scream from the woman with barb wire wrapped around her limbs and neck, blood and puss spewing from the wounds. He flinches,  _ hard. _ “Not, like, because of the ghosts or anything.” 

 

“Okay, then how,” Ben asks, standing up. He’s clearly as concerned as Diego is, who looks like he may cry. 

 

Klaus doesn’t want to sit down. “I woke up and I was bleeding everywhere. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of the ghosts since they never actually go very below the belt.” The two knew about the wounds he frequently sported and the reasons behind them. “It was sort of like my crotch was bleeding? I don’t really know, I'll have to ask Mom when she gets up.” 

 

“You could be dying, though,” Diego whimpers. “What if you bleed out? Are you still bleeding?” 

 

Klaus nods with a sigh. He’s not going to  _ show _ them. It’s not like when they were younger and got caught with their pants down comparing. They hadn’t exactly been taught anything as kids so they couldn’t exactly be to blame here. They didn’t know any better. “Yeah, I’m still bleeding. It’s gross and it hurts, but I think I’ll be okay.” 

 

“You just said you thought you were dying,” Ben points out with a frown. 

 

“Well, maybe I’m just being dramatic, Ben.” He huffs out a sigh. “It hurts a lot, though. Mom’ll probably know what’s going on.” His brows knit together. “Can I sleep in here tonight?” 

 

“One condition.” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“No dying.” 

 

“I can’t die,” Klaus announces triumphantly. If only he knew the truth to that. 

 

Ben and Diego move over, letting Klaus sit beside them. Hours later, the three ended up curled together, limbs tangled up together. The morning, though, was rambunctious. Klaus had two hours of sleep, getting up at six in the morning. He knew Mom got up at that time and started getting them all up at seven thirty. He makes his way to the kitchen where she knowingly will be. 

 

She is, actually. And he taps her shoulder, watching her jump. “Oh, Klaus, dear, you scared me. Why are you up so early?” 

 

“I think I’m dying, actually,” he says plainly, watching her face twist with concern. “I woke up bleeding last night. I was bleeding, like, a lot and stuff. I cleaned it up and then slept in Ben’s room with him and Diego.” Klaus shrugs as passively as he can. 

 

Grace’s brows furrow. “Oh, dear we were waiting to give everyone  _ The Talk _ later on when you all were a bit older.” She purses her lips for a moment. “Alright, sit down, dear. I suppose I will have to tackle this early on.” Klaus does sit, silently waiting it out as she calls that she’ll be right back. 

 

She’s back in three minutes and seventeen seconds. Klaus counted, too. She presents to him pads and tampons, watching him visibly cringe. “Oh, it’s  _ that _ stuff,” he mumbles sourly. He had heard about tampons on the news after there was a giant recall because of toxic shock syndrome. He hadn’t heard anything about pads, though, so he suspects he’ll just end up going with that. 

 

Grace smiles and huffs out a soft hum. “Yes, it is _ that stuff. _ As you can tell, you, Diego, Allison, and Vanya are all rather different from the others.” It’s clear shes attempting to be gentle with this. 

 

“We have girl parts, yeah,” he nods softly. 

 

“And because of that, you have a menstrual cycle, which is just where you shed the lining of your uterus after not having a child. Everyone with a uterus does it. It’s normal.” She sighs. This conversation was going to be long and incredibly awkward, they both know, but there really wasn’t much else they could do about it. It had to be explained eventually. 

 

The entire academy gets  _ The Talk _ soon after with Klaus sitting to the side, looking incredibly awkward. He doesn’t even really attempt to do much, just standing there and listening to his mother talks to them just a few hours he had earned his own. It was clear to tell he was the first to get through all that  _ teenage stuff. _ It also makes for incredibly awkward small talk, though they don’t bring it up much. 

 

Diego was the next to start, which Ben and Klaus both helped him through. Then Allison, who had actually started during breakfast and then screamed when she stood up and blood covered her seat as well as her skirt. While Reginald had fussed at her, Klaus and Diego had moved to help her without hesitation. Vanya was the last, who had gone to Five before eventually going to Klaus, as Five had literally no training whatsoever in a situation like this. 

 

The rest of the boys tend to their own things. Klaus and Diego don’t ask about it and they don’t get voluntery answers, either, which works out fine for all of them. The even numbers stay as tightly knit as three peas in a pod, even after Klaus breaks his jaw while wearing Grace’s heels. They give him shit about it, but it all seems to work out fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I have not done much today. My cat was giving birth and I fuckin sat there with her through some of it. I have to take my medicine at some point. Didn't stick around with my fat because there was a wasp nest and I saw like 3 snakes. They were common harmless snakes but a snake is still a snake, even if 2 of them were babies. It also started raining so I yeeted {Yote? Yotted? Yoted? Imma say it's yote but use yeeted] myself out of there.


	7. Chapter 7

_ [00.01] Spaceboy _

 

_ He seems to be coping with Five’s disappearance just fine. He is proving to be a well put together leader and is leading the others to push past all the same.  _

 

_ [00.02] The Kraken _

 

_ He is more distant than he used to be. I suppose that is a symptom of losing someone, though.  _

 

_ He’s growing into his wings amazingly and is just as deadly as I suspected.  _

 

_ [00.03] The Rumor _

 

_ She absolutely loves the fame. She uses her power to her advantage constantly. I don’t believe she realizes the consequences of her actions. This may ruin her later on in life.  _

 

_ Three is incredibly showy with her tail and wings, constantly putting them on display for all to see. Her feathers are absolutely stunning as can be. I suspect she will be wedded sometime in her early 20s, if not as soon as she leaves the house.  _

 

_ [00.04] The Séance _

 

_ He is incredibly distant from the others. After they pressured him to attempt to contact Five, he had a breakdown and separated himself from the others as much as he could. He was even sober for a few days when he attempted to contact Five. Even with his training in the mausoleum, he could not contact Five, which means he must still be alive.  _

 

_ He never uses his wings. He stretches them once a day in order to keep them from becoming completely useless. They are still incredibly strong and look as if he used them daily. He hides them, though, constantly. He refuses to use them any want possible, even if a mission calls for it. Just as he is doing with his powers, he is only just skimming the surface of his abilities, especially since they are becoming far more similar to his sister’s.  _

 

_ [00.05] The Boy _

 

_ Still missing. I suspect he is alive, as Number Four has been no help in aiding for his search party.  _

 

_ [00.06] The Horror _

 

The Horror _ is even angrier. Six himself is not, though he does make comments that  _ The Horror _ is losing his patience with Reginald and their training. He is easily manipulated and malleable, but he is becoming an issue. I believe I will use Number One’s sway over him to my advantage and dispose of Number Six if it truly comes down to it. Perhaps then Number Four will be able to get into contact with one of his siblings.  _

 

_ He uses his wings commonly. Not as common as Number Two, but often.  _

 

_ [00.07] White Violin _

 

_ She is distant now. She misses Number Five.  _

 

_ Unlike her twin, she commonly uses her wings to her advantage, just as Allison does. She is as talented with them as Diego. She often uses that they’re the biggest as a waypoint as well. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Misfits is pretty cool. And a lot of other stuff. Robert, David, and Justin are all pretty fuckin cool, just sayin.


	8. Chapter 8

“So, what,” Klaus asks, glaring at Ben as he moves through the world. He was just a little over thirty now and Ben had been dead for a while, following him around constantly for the sake of somewhat supporting him. He constantly attempts to make Klaus go into having better habits but it always goes as well as it is now. Somehow, Klaus is always the one to be winning. He had  _ just _ gotten out of rehab, too. 

 

“You’re going to get put back in rehab if you overdose  _ again.” _ Ben glares at the other. 

 

“You’re still not my mom and you  _ still _ can’t fight other ghosts,” Klaus points out. He promptly pops two pills into his mouth and swallows them dry, something he had picked up from Vanya when they were younger. “Don’t start telling me what to do until you start to earn your keep here. I don’t see any places  _ not _ infested with ghosts.” 

 

“I can’t earn my keep, Klaus, I’m a  _ ghost.” _

 

Klaus isn’t pushing him away. He wouldn’t  _ dare _ push away the only person that cares about him, not anymore. He doesn’t want Ben any more gone than he wanted Diego to be, but the other had left in a flurry of emotions and anger. Now, though, Klaus is just forcing himself to get the Hell through life or else he’ll let himself perish. He can’t do that, not to Ben, who still relies on him more than he has a right to know. 

 

“You need to get your shit together,” Ben remarks, “snort a line of stability instead of crack.” 

 

Klaus scoffs. “Oh, yeah?” 

 

“Yeah. And get a job, too, while you’re at it.” 

 

“Go back to stripping?” Klaus raises a brow, moving through the darkness with a trained eye. No one knew what type of wings he had, but they gave him some amazing abilities at some points. 

 

“You made enough, didn’t you? And they were pretty classy. You had a place to live then.” Ben follows him around, wings pressed out as he glides. He’s a lot faster in death than he was in life. “Then you tucked tail and ran.” 

 

“I always do, don’t I?” He smiles as passively as he can. “What’s it matter to you, anyway? You said you like seeing the sights. You even said you wanted to go see the ocean. That’s what we’re doing.” 

 

“We’re in fucking Nebraska,” ben barks back, glaring at the other harshly. “What the fuck are we going to see in fucking Nebraska?” 

 

Klaus shrugs. “It’s cold.” 

 

“You’re wearing basically nothing, I’m not surprised.” 

 

Ben’s snark is far from what Klaus is looking for. He hisses back. “I don’t have a home or a phone. I can’t exactly get a job. I don’t have a resume or anything on me, either. What would I tell them?” He makes his voice a little higher than it had been before, “Oh, yes, I’m Klaus Hargreeves, Number Four. You’ve probably heard of me. I’m the skinniest transvestite you’ve ever seen. Just got out of rehab for about the seventh time. Oh, yeah, I’m also supposedly schizophrenic and constantly talk to a ghost that is my brother, also known as Number Six, who died on a mission in front of a live audience.” He drops the smile and glares. 

 

Ben shrugs. “Find a shady enough joint, I’m sure you could get in.” 

 

“One day I’ll own my own strip joint,” Klaus snarks back, glaring harshly at his brother as he moves. “I need a place to fucking stay tonight,” he speaks in a sing-song voice. “Guess I’m sucking a dealer off, then.” 

 

“You are  _ not _ staying with another iffy dealer, Klaus, not after the last one,” Ben snaps instantly, worry playing at his tone. It’s clear he doesn’t want that for the other. “You can’t keep sucking off your dealers for a place to stay or a couple of hits. You should just get a job and-” 

 

“I’m getting my hormones and keeping the ghosts at bay, Ben, so I’m doing far better than I was at the academy. Now, can we stop having these conversations over and over again? We have them every single time I bring something like this up.” 

 

“I’ll only stop bringing it up once yous top ruining yourself,” the other counters. 

 

“Oh, just fuck  _ off, _ Ben.” 

 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

 

“I wish I could, Benny Boy. Sometimes I really do.” 

 

“I know, but I’m your not-roulette-wheel-Morale-Compass and you know that. So, come on.” 

 

Silence falls over the two as Klaus follows Ben, glaring at his back. It’s actually really cold. If Ben had any feeling n him, he would know that firsthand, but he doesn’t. Klaus lets the other lead in hushed silence. He shivers and his teeth chatter. 

 

“Why’d we have to be here? This is basically in the middle of nothing.” 

 

Klaus shrugs halfheartedly. “I don’t know. I was just hitchhiking, dude, that’s it.” 

 

“I know.” Ben sighs, continuing to move silently. “You’ll be sobering up soon since that wasn’t much and you don’t really have anything else. And you’ll be getting colder, too. I know you hate it, but maybe just use your wings? Just this once? You’ll start freezing if you don’t.” Concern drips into his voice, making its way out into the open. It pries at Klaus’ insides. 

 

“I’ve never stayed dead, Ben,” Klaus reminds passively. There isn’t any snap to it, but he does slowly bring out the two largest of his wings, wrapping them around himself as he shivers. There really isn’t much else he  _ can _ do. A trip to the was never any fun and he highly doubted it would be now. 

 

“I know you don’t, but only you, Dad, Pogo, Mom, and I know that. You made sure no one else knew, remember?’ 

 

Klaus flinches at the mention of their father. He softly sighs and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I do know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually watched Umbrella Academy twice and I still have little to no memory of what actually happens aside from a bunch of Klaus' focus. I don't think I would remember if it didn't bug me as much as it does. Depression really does fuck up memories. I hate it. it really doesn't help that I already had a bad memory anyway. I think I'm going to start getting string and tying them around my fingers as reminders like Jade Harley always did. It seemed to work fine for her.


	9. Chapter 9

_ [00.01] Spaceboy _

 

_ On the moon as of current, still healthy, wings are amazing  _

 

_ [00.02] The Kraken _

 

_ Fled on his 18th _

 

_ [00.03] The Rumor _

 

_ Fled on her 19th _

 

_ [00.04] The Séance _

 

_ Fled 2 days after his 19th _

 

_ [00.05] The Boy _

 

_ Still missing  _

 

_ [00.06] The Horror _

 

_ [Redacted, scribbled over, attempted erased, essentially smudged in the entire process and incomprehensible at this point] _

 

_ [00.07] White Violin _

 

_ Fled with Number Four, the two parted ways by their 19th birthdays, as reported by Number One _

  
  
  


_ Let it not be said that this is a suicide note, as it is not. It is simply my final testimony as a creator as well as a human being. My entire life’s progress has all been documented since after my wife’s passing. I have yet to truly complete my life goal of saving the world while simultaneously ruining/destroying it. It will be a reset of all humanity. The issues that once plagued humanity no longer will as humanity will no longer exist, as well as most species.  _

 

_ Whilst I have yet to actually fulfill anything, I am thankful for the years I have spent not  _ exactly _ alone. Grace and Pogo have both stayed present in my late years. My death will be caused by heart failure. The poison fails to show up in an autopsy and Grace has begun to “lose her marbles.” Pogo has specifically programmed her not to assist in resuscitating me after my “passing,” despite being set up to do so. She will be the biggest key in this puzzle. I am unsure of how Pogo has set it up to look like, but it will be something seems like a “murder.” Once I reveal that it is a suicide to Number Four and explain my purposes, I am sure that they will understand. The world needs to be purified, after all.  _

 

_ Number Four has been incredibly insufferable since he left, or so I heard from Number One the last time he contacted me about him. He still seems to be intoxicated more than not. Based on all of the rehab centers Pogo has managed to find him in, nothing has changed. I should have thrown him in a mental hospital when I wanted to all those years ago. That would have aided me better than waiting any of it out. It’s still unclear to me if he is delusional or telling the genuine truth, but I will eventually find out after death.  _

 

_ Number Four and Number Seven both had an unstoppable amount of potential between the two of them, yet they both have blinded themselves by their own horrid emotions. Seven was angered far too easily and did not want to look at the big picture while Four was too frightened of his own powers and shadow alike. He should have listened to me instead of attempting to go behind my back and ruin himself. With their emotions so wild, I could not train either correctly and it would have made for an incredibly messy end on both of their parts. It could have brought the world to an end early on, which no one requires.  _

 

_ I hate to admit it, but it took far longer to realize the meaning of their wing patterns. Grace was the one to bring it up to me, actually, during one of her many reboot sessions with Pogo to cleanse her systems of anything we had done the day before. She said that their wings reminded her on the yin and yang symbol. In truth, I should have considered it much earlier than I did, but I admittedly did not even attempt to research it. I believe Seven was made to destroy the world while Four was made to save it. With all the powers he’s racked up, he could have been the most powerful being in the universe along with Seven.  _

 

_ The three that I suspect could have ended the world would have been Four, Six, and Seven. Four and Seven have already been explained, but Six could have done so much more if he had taken his life into his own hands.  _ The Horror _ was amazingly strong and there was no limit to how much Six could summon at a time. With all the other animals he had summoned and had at his side when he was younger, he could have destroyed earth himself if he were angry enough. Unfortunately for him, that had meant he had to be terminated or learned to get the anger out of both  _ The Horror _ and himself.  _

 

_ Perhaps even Number Five could have slowly destroyed everything if he could move his spacial jumps enough and make them much bigger than he could when he was younger. He could have potentially done amazing things, but he was arrogant and pushed too far. Of course, it seems to have caused his end in the long run, just as  _ The Horror’s _ anger caused Number Six’s. They both could have been an amazing team if not for their anger and spite.  _

 

_ The Rumor could have ruled the world with an iron fist if she put her mind to it. She’s gotten as far as she has due to her powers and I am sure she knows it. From what I’ve heard, she’s newly divorced and doesn’t have custody of her child because she was constantly rumoring her and her husband. It was also how she got her roles in so many stories as well, though that is my own speculation and not the paper’s word. She is amazing with her work, though, or so I’ve heard.  _

 

_ Number One would have been a better leader is he listened to the others more commonly than he had. He pushed and pulled against the grain of his teammates. I will admit that he has more so inherited that from me. He should have listened a tad bit more to Grace and Pogo than he had I, but he still listened to the very end and I suspect he will continue to, even after my death. He has never once asked about anyone else’s training as the others did, though I will admit that it is odd Number Four never pried, either.  _

 

_ Number Two was far too defiant in the end. One, Two, Three, Six, and Seven were all eager to please and impress as children when they were as pliable as any other easily manipulatable material. After they grew up to know more who they were and what needed to be done in life, they became defiant, or at least Number Two truly had. The others stuck out until the end which I am actually thankful for. It made things much easier than they had to be, especially considering Four took after his lead and Seven followed him.  _

 

_ I believe Seven craved the freedom Four had. Four trained with little resistance, but he was often away from the house, unlike the others. If he was not locked in his room or training, he was out. Often times, he was fooling around with someone or getting intoxicated. I will admit that I cared for him the least and watched over his health with little interest. I believe Seven wanted that; To not be constantly monitored and stuck at my side as I made her be. I always attempted to keep her out of trouble as much as I possibly could and turned the others against her. That was rather horrid on my part. My bad.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "My bad" That was fun to write. 
> 
> I've rewritten this twice and I plan on actually rewriting the entire fic as I actually fucking hate it and I hate first person pov. 
> 
> My cat had five kittens. 3 black kittens, 2 black and white ones.

**Author's Note:**

> Please join my Discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy
> 
>  


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